Sean Spicer resigned today. I can’t imagine that’s gonna help their ratings. I would love to see Jerry Springer take his place. It would be a nice addition to the sideshow & I would definitely watch that…
It’s pretty sad when you wake up at 3:30am and you’ve already gotten more sleep than you do on any average night…
I walking in a parking lot earlier, trying to get my steps in, when a woman approached me.
She said “Excuse me. I just locked my keys in my car, do you think the police could help me get in?”
I said “Probably, what year is your car?”
She said “It’s old, 2002.”
And I said “Yeah, I bet they can. Do you want to call them?”
She apparently had also locked her phone in her car, so I took it upon myself to call for her.
As we were waiting she informed me that she was smoking a bowl in her car when she noticed a mother walk by with a baby carriage. She panicked and jumped out of her car, locking the doors behind her.
She asked me “Do you think the police will mind that I was smoking weed?”
I replied “uhm, isn’t it legal now? You don’t have over an ounce in your car, right?”
She said “No, just a bowl pack.”
I said “Just make sure you tell them that someone gave it to you.”
And she said “I grew it.”
I was like “yeah…”
Just then the cruiser was pulling into the lot. She turned to me and said “Do you think they’re gonna say anything about my license being expired?”
I said “You don’t have a license?!? When did it expire??”
She said “May 6th”
I said “Yeah… I definitely wouldn’t mention that.”
The cop got out of his cruiser, another cop pulled up with the slim jim. In a minute the car was opened and the woman said “Excuse the smell.”
The other cop was still right there and I was convinced that they were gonna arrest this lady. Then the first cop asked “Can I see your license? I need to make sure you’re not some random person.”
She said “Sure, sorry it’s expired”
He said “You know you’re not supposed to be driving AT ALL, right? This car needs to stay here until you have a license. Why is it expired?”
And she replied “Parking tickets”
Then she grabbed her stuff, thanked all of us, and walked away.
What a crazy day…
That awkward moment when a guy approaches you on the side of the street, tells you that he thinks you’re a good guy, goes on to tell you an elaborate story about how he saved a baby bird that day, then closes by quoting Alex Jones and talking about his theories on chemtrails…
I was just sitting in a comic book shop, playing with my fidget spinner, when a couple little kids stormed in & said “Hey, do you have any fidget spinners?”
I stopped it mid-spin & both kids jolted their heads towards me, like they were ready to pounce.
I quickly said “I didn’t get this here” and I instantly could see the disappointment in their eyes as they turned back to the store manager and realized that their dreams of owning a fidget spinner of their very own had just been shattered…
When a kid does something wrong and a parent decides to discipline them by spanking/hitting them, screaming at them, putting them down, I want you to think about what that shows them.
Does it show them that when they do something that upsets their parents there will be a punishment? Yes
Does it show them that whatever they did was wrong? That’s open to debate
Does it show them that anger is an okay way to express themselves when they get upset? Very likely
Kids look up to their parents. They learn from them by watching how they interact in life. If a parent screams and throws things when they’re upset, the kid in turn will start to believe that’s the right way to handle a situation.
When a parent tells their kid enough times that they’re a loser, they start to believe it. When a parent hits or screams at their kid everytime they do something that upsets them, they start to believe that’s how those situations are handled.
None of us are perfect. I’m not standing on a milk crate, preaching about how great I am. I’m not saying that anyone who has ever disciplined their kids that way is a horrible person. I’m just saying that there are consequences to our actions. They may not be things that you see in your lifetime, but trust me they’re there. In most cases, actions speak louder than words.
My father was a good man, but he had a horrible temper. He hit me, screamed at me, and constantly put me down. I have been called a loser more times by my dad then any other person in my life. He told me I was a disappointment and an embarrassment, on numerous occasions. I now know he didn’t mean it and that he had no control over his temper. When he got pissed, he would go for the jugular. He would say the worse thing that came to his mind, without thinking twice about holding back. When he would finally calm down, many times, he would sit there and cry to me as he attempted to apologize. But the next time he got upset, he would do it again. He had many good qualities too, but his temper always tended to shine through. As he got older he mellowed out a lot, but that was my childhood in a nutshell.
I feel bad for my dad. He lived his life with so much pent up anger. He should’ve been in therapy and found another way to channel it, but he never did. He died a few years back. And he wasn’t a perfect man, but I did love him and I know that he loved me.
My mother told me years ago that the most unattractive feature a guy can have is a bad temper. Those words have stuck with me ever since. I don’t like being around people with bad tempers, so why would I expect someone else to?
My dad’s temper rubbed off on me. For years I would lose my temper, yell and scream, punch a wall, throw something, I’ve been in multiple fights and said some horrible things. It took some time, but I finally saw myself and I didn’t like it. I did what my father couldn’t do, I got myself into therapy. I talked through my issues. I found ways to calm down and to think before I acted. I’ve continued to grow as a person to the point where the angry person I was is almost unrecognizable to me.
I have a lot more growing to do. I still get upset. I make mistakes. I overthink many things in my life (sometimes to the degree where I overlook other meaningful things in the process). I can be spiteful and passive aggressive. And despite the ongoing battle to change this, I’m almost always late. I’m not trying to get down on myself, and I know that I’m only human. We all are.
I have a lot of love in my heart. I genuinely like to help people. I can spark up a conversation with almost anyone about anything and enjoy doing it. I’m a compassionate, loving guy and am lucky enough to have found someone whom I love that I’m building a life with.
It took a long time to realize it, but I know I’m not a loser or an embarrassment. I have grown so much and thrive to continue my journey. Nobody’s perfect, but I’m trying to do the best I can.
We are our parents’ kids. Some of us are lucky enough to continue to grow and learn from their mistakes, but some scars don’t fade away so easily. Please try to remember this the next time your kid breaks a lamp or stays out too late.
I walked into the vet with my dog’s leash in one hand & a bag of shit in the other.
We were greeted by a vet tech & I asked “Who’s the lucky one who gets to take this?”
She replied “That would be me. Its like Christmas everyday.”
I was just walking by a group of high school boys, when I started to hear them talking trash. I had my headphones on, so couldn’t have cared less.
Just for the sake of conversation, I pulled my headphones off & realized that they weren’t trash talking me at all.
Instead, they were making fun of a poor girl with special needs. Today the kids in this town reached a new low…
When you have tickets to see Guardians of the Galaxy 2, in 3D, on opening weekend, and your glasses break 20 minutes before you have to leave for the movie…
That awkward moment when your bottle of Sriracha sauce thinks it’s a Dilophosaurus and spits sauce in your face….