Vet tech…

I walked into the vet with my dog’s leash in one hand & a bag of shit in the other.

We were greeted by a vet tech & I asked “Who’s the lucky one who gets to take this?”

She replied “That would be me. Its like Christmas everyday.”

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Getting drugs off the street?

​It’s all fun & games until an old lady chews you the fuck out:

Telling you that you’re a bad person, that you should be out there getting drugs off the street instead of writing parking tickets (though you point at your hat which says “Parking Enforcement”), that you’re only targeting senior citizens, & that you should “get a real job!”

Rudolph…

Watching ‘Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer’ for the first time in years. I noticed some interesting things. 

Santa will make toys for every kid in the world, yet he says that Rudolph better grow out of his red nose or he’ll never make the sled team. And Rudolph’s own father is teaching him to cover up what’s wrong with him to fit in.

My conclusion, Santa & his reindeer are pricks…

That awkward moment…

That awkward moment when you’re in Target, shopping, walking around, & an announcement goes over the loud speaker.

The announcement says that IF there is an alarm after the announcement that the building needs to be evacuated.

Then it goes away, so you continue to shop, until lights begin to flash & an alarm beings to sound.

A whole hoard of people begin to make their way down the escalator, bringing their carriages & baskets full of stuff.

As you all near the front of the store, people begin to put baskets on the floor & leave carriages in isles as the Target crew tells everyone to evacuate.

Only to have the crew at the door tell you its a false alarm & turn you around.

And you awkwardly stand in line, waiting to be rung out, while the alarm continues to sound…