Sriracha sauce…

That awkward moment when your bottle of Sriracha sauce thinks it’s a Dilophosaurus and spits sauce in your face….

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Movie theater men’s room…

I was drying my hands and looking in the mirror when a guy came into the bathroom, wearing a bicycle helmet and biking gloves. He walked up to a urinal, started to fake punch, like he was in a boxing match, then turned around and walked out…